Marriage may not be for everyone. Over four million couples live together without being married in the United States according to a 2003 U.S. Census Report. Co-habitators make up roughly 10 percent of coupled households.

The reason for cohabitation are many, according to Nicky Grist ,executive director of the Alternatives to Marriage organization, a New York-based group that helps co-habitators navigate through society’s marital baggage.

“There are many reasons people don’t get married, for a large number there are those that aren’t allowed to get married,” said Grist, “another portion are concerned that they’ll lose a public benefit…and there are those who are financially constrained.”

Co-habitation is oftentimes seen as a major step towards getting married or its equivalent. For Michelle Johnson, a lecturer at Emerson College, is of a different generation than the millenials or generation xers and yers young people who offers an interesting perspective.

Johnson co-habitated with her spouse for 14 years before they were married in 2002 when marriage was legalized in Massachusetts. Johnson said that even though co-habitation is no less valid, marriage involves certain legal issues. As unmarried partners, there can be problems with hospital visitations or making medical decisions.

“A lot of people have gotten married for the legal protections. I’m glad to have that kind of protection,” said Johnson.

Johnson also mentioned that there is an attraction to being married and showing that level of involvement. She said, “It’s the commitment, being committed for the long haul, merging everything and being one entity.”

Lisa Paradis, who recently turned 30, fall on the other side of the co-habitation camp. She said that she has never been like many women who have dreamed of their wedding day as young girls.

Instead, Paradis emphasized that even though she has been living with her partner for nine years, she does not see marriage on the horizon.

“Many people have married, had kids, and been divorced in the time that we’ve been together. And here we are still together,” said Paradis.

She mentioned that the marriage card isn’t totally off the table since she feels that certain issues such as insurance coverage or other health issues might arise. But, Paradis said she is content with her relationship and doesn’t feel that a marriage certificate makes her relationship any more or less valid.

1 | 2