The fear seems to be that young people no longer date but resort to parties or clubs for relating sexually and casually. By digging deeper into the phenomenon, the following is a profile of the male and female perspectives of two young people.

Tania Biaspalda, 25, moved to Boston four years ago from her native Belarus. She is currently a student at the University of Massachusetts-Boston. Biaspalda said that the adjustment to the American single life culture has been difficult.

“The U.S. culture is very different. Men in my country are more like gentlemen, they pay for everything, and you can expect a call the next day,” said Biaspalda.

However, her experience in the U.S. singles scene, particularly Boston, she said relationships among men and women seem to be “extremely casual.”

She said that in the U.S., people meet in a club or bar and there’s usually a one night stand in which you might get a text message the next day.  She said that in the U.S., it seems okay for men to be so distant and not being tied down or close is what young people value.

“In Belarus, there’s no hooking up. It is not as sexually wild,” Biaspalda said, “There people are looking for a relationship and people get married much earlier.”

She said she has had difficulty adjusting to the American culture of hooking up. Biaspalda has mixed emotions about one-night stands or hooking up and said that being between the two cultures make coming to grips all the more difficult.

“With one-night stands I feel bad, in my Russian heritage it’s bad and it’s a mixture of things, the heartache. Sometimes I feel like I’m supposed to be one or the other, American or Russian,” said Biaspalda.

1 | 2